I am completely unable to live as a Christian.
The harder I try, the more I battle the frantic actions, empty words, defeated attitude, and my all-around imperfect state. My life is a sham, a pretense of good, covering a heart in great need of mercy and grace.
I long to be real, to love, to serve, but I am caught in a vicious battle with my own thoughts and selfish needs. My smile feels pasted on – my heart like lead. I go through the motions, but some days the struggle outweighs the joy.
“O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Romans 7:24-25
Thank God that the Christian life is more than I can do! It is His life, not mine. My strength is insufficient, but His strength is made perfect in weakness. My love is selfish, but His love reaches out and lifts up.
My focus is all wrong. I am not the generator, but the conduit; not the spring, but the riverbed; not the water, but the vessel.
Christ is the Life in me – the strength in me.
God did not leave me with an impossible task; He only asks that I allow Him to do the impossible through me.
The responsibility is His, the life is His, the strength is His. My only task is to yield – everything, every day – to Him.
II Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Colossians 1:10 That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; 12 Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light:
Photo – Bay Sunset, Beth Mims